I am once again asking you to take care of yourself
Dear friend,
I know that things are scary right now. Russia invaded Ukraine; North Korea fired another missile. We are still working through some COVID stuff, and there are many unknowns.
If you were born after 1986-1987 or so, this might be the first time in your memory that the threat of global warfare and nuclear destruction has hung over us all. There’s a meme going around advising you to find a GenX friend, and truly, that’s not bad advice. Existential dread was pretty much a hallmark of GenX, and we learned to (in essence) “keep calm and carry on.”
None of us knows what will happen next, or how this all will end, but here is what I can tell you for sure: Constant worry and continuous scrolling or news consumption isn’t going to make things any better.
If there is something you can do about a situation, do it. Perhaps that means donating to World Central Kitchen or to one of the many other organizations that support the people of Ukraine. Donating is one of the things that allows you to exert some control over a small part of the situation, which can help you to feel a bit better.
Things always feel a little less out of control when you exert some control in your life, even if it’s in a different area. So while you cannot stop the war, you might be able to control how much of it you allow into your brain and nervous system, or you might be able to control how you go about your daily life.
The suggestions that follow might help.
Permission to limit your intake of news
Terrorizing yourself with constant intake of news reports is not helping anyone—not the people of Ukraine, and definitely not you or those around you. And that is precisely what you are doing if you are doom scrolling, keeping a streaming news channel open on your TV, car radio, or computer, or allowing regular notifications from any news outlets.
Yes, awareness of current events can be a good thing. But at times like these, I remember how the reporting during WWI and WWII occurred: usually summaries, once or twice a day at most based on newspaper distribution and the radio. Then, as now, the news was horrifying—but at least you were only exposed to it once or twice a day.
A nonstop diet of alarming news is a recipe for a nervous system disaster, which can manifest as high blood pressure, sleep deprivation, increased risk of adverse health outcomes, and more. Abusing your body in that manner isn’t going to help you, or anyone else.
Here are concrete suggestions of how you can stay informed, but also limit how much exposure you allow to news sources
Do not channel surf to keep looking for more news or different takes. Find two or three news sources that you trust, and follow them. That could mean a reporter on the ground in Ukraine, a particular newspaper or other publication, or a particular news channel.
Try to avoid talking heads. Pundits and TV hosts who are paid to present opinions often have an agenda. It wasn’t long ago that several F*x News hosts were praising Putin, for instance.
If you are a person who replays images and videos in your mind (like I do), consider choosing print sources rather than watching TV. Or listen to reputable podcasts or news coverage. TV news asks you to listen, watch, and read (due to chyrons and info graphics), which requires more energy or bandwidth from you.
Consider setting a limit on how much you are willing to consume. The easiest way is to impose time limits for yourself. So watching the nightly news for half an hour on one of the main networks might be better than streaming CNN or MSNBC all day. Or allowing yourself to scroll Twitter for information for 15 minutes, rather than just scrolling your feed and refreshing nonstop.
Speaking of limits: You might want to impose and enforce a “screens off” policy before bedtime. Ideally, that means no screens for an hour or two before you plan on going to bed. I’ve written about that before in this post.
Double down on your self-care.
I am once again asking for you to take care of yourself.
That includes taking breaks, and not just from the news. Here’s what it also means:
If you are holding a lot of tension in your body (aren’t we all?), take time to stretch and also to breathe. Try one of these breathing techniques or use this 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness exercise to help you ground yourself and release stress.
Get up and move around. Maybe that means some form of exercise, which is great for releasing stress and reducing anxiety. Maybe it means getting outside, where nature can help you calm down and heal. Or maybe it means decluttering your closet or cleaning the bathroom. You do you, boo.
Nurture yourself. At a basic level, this can mean feeding your body the things that nourish and/or comfort you. It also means nourishing your mind with things that are good for it, like art or music or reading or meditation. This means making sure you stay hydrated and get some sleep, too.
Allow yourself to do the things that you need to do in order to succeed. Maybe that is creating something (art, baked goods, music, writing, a large pot of spaghetti sauce, an afghan, a quilt, a new shed). Maybe it is taking care of business: from laundry at home to meeting a deadline at work to making offers if you are an entrepreneur. All of these things help restore your emotional reserves, so that you can help yourself and others. This CNN article offers succinct help.
Consider using tools such as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or tapping) to release anxiety. It is one of several techniques I will be teaching 1:1 as part of the Empress of Your Life, my new program to help you let go of your negative patterns and adopt a more loving relationship with yourself.
Why you should be focused on taking care of yourself
First, taking care of yourself makes it possible for you take care of others. If you are so overwhelmed by world events that you are neglecting yourself, you may quite literally become ill—and then you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.
Second, taking care of yourself and refilling your emotional well by doing things that bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment will give you the energy you need in order to be a help to others.
Taking care of yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do right now, whether you want to help the people around you or those in Ukraine.
I hope you will use the many resources scattered in this post in the form of links. And I would love to work with you to reduce negative self-talk and bolster your support and love for yourself inside my Empress of Your Life coaching package. Please get in touch if you are interested, or if you have any questions!
