Pause first, then take action
The weekend that was
On the one hand, I had an okay weekend. I was tired for most of it—not just sleepy, but bone-tired, in a way that made it hard to rouse myself to get much done. But I did put myself together for a long-overdue date with Morris.
About a year ago, I bought us tickets to see parodist, author and performer Randy Rainbow perform in Atlantic City. The show was supposed to be an early wedding anniversary present for Morris, since it was originally scheduled for the end of October 2021. Thanks to the pandemic, it turned out to be either a very late or very early anniversary gift in May of 2022.
It was a fun night out, although we were among maybe 15-20% of the audience (and people we saw in the casino) who were masked, despite rising case numbers in NJ. I guess most people have decided they are done with the pandemic, even if the pandemic isn’t done. Part of me envies that perspective; part of me wonders what the fuck people are thinking. As for me, I will continue to mask when in crowds.
The news this weekend has again been horrifying.
A white supremacist drove hours to Buffalo, NY to commit premeditated murder in a supermarket in a black neighborhood. That dude researched to find a place where he was likely to be able to kill as many black people as possible. He wore body armor and was armed to the teeth.
It wasn’t even the only mass shooting: there were at least three others this weekend.
I had friends in California who had to evacuate their home last week due to the Coastal Fire. They were lucky that their home was spared, though many were not. Two days after they returned home, there was a mass murder inside a local church.
Climate change continued to make itself known with a humongous dust storm that swept across the upper midwest. As a heat wave swept up the center of the United States, parts of the Texas power grid crashed (again), and people are being asked to conserve as temperatures reach 100° F (38°C).
And truly, I’m barely skimming the news with this stuff. There are all sorts of other things that went off the rails this weekend locally, nationally, and world-wide. Not to mention the heartaches of friends and family (mine and, I suspect, yours as well).
When things get overwhelming, or depressing, or simply hectic, it’s time to pause.
Why pause?
When we pause, we give our body and mind a chance to rest—and to catch up with one another. We also give ourselves time to process any emotions we are feeling, so that when we take action, it is from a place of clarity.
Perhaps you read the news from the weekend and immediately felt a roiling in your gut, or a tiredness you couldn’t explain. By pausing, you allow yourself to process any information you’ve received, and to allow your body and mind to re-connect so that when you go into action, you aren’t already scattered.
I invite you to go back and read one or both of the prior blog posts below, which will help you to focus on being truly okay before you launch yourself into the sun action.
At this moment, I am okay
Say this aloud if you are feeling especially shaky. It helps to put your hand on your heart as a way of calming yourself.
Focus on the 4 basic corners of self-care
Make sure you are getting enough sleep and exercise, as well as proper hydration and nutrition.
When you feel ready, take action.
In Deuteronomy 16:20, we are told “Justice, justice you shall pursue.” In the book of Micah 6:8, it says, “Do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God.” As is recorded in the Talmud, Rabbi Tarfon (who lived sometime between 75 CE and 135 CE) wrote in the commentary to that verse in Micah:
“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
I don’t often quote the Bible or other religious writings here, though as a preacher’s kid who changed denominations before converting to Judaism for religious reasons, I certainly have quite a lot of beliefs and ideas. In general, though I find the guidance of the verses I share above to be helpful as I navigate my way through the world.
I am reassured by the exhortation to “not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief.” I am reminded that I have an obligation to do what I can to move the world toward justice. And I am counseled that I don’t have to do it nonstop, or all at one go: I may not finish in my lifetime, but I still must try.
DONATIONS
Maybe taking action looks like making donations to places that ease grief, pain, hunger, and other ills, or maybe it looks like making donations to places that are working to fight against injustice.
POLITICAL ACTION
Maybe taking action means calling, emailing, or writing a letter to a local, state, or national representative to address something that needs work. Most of us “can’t be bothered,” yet our representatives do pay attention when constituents call. That is even true of representatives whose ideas are different than yours.
PERSONAL ACTION
Maybe taking action means providing items for a local family in need, or giving your time and services to someone who is in need. An Instagram friend who is an acupuncturist in Buffalo is giving free trauma-release treatments to those affected by the recent hate-based murders. Another friend in DC helped Afghan refugees to move into an apartment and get things they needed in order to live.
Personal action could also be as simple as not remaining silent when someone makes a racist or anti-LGBTQ+ remark in your presence, or drawing a boundary on certain topics at family get-togethers if you have relatives who insist on spouting nonsense. Or it could be as easy as using someone’s preferred name and pronouns, even if they are different from what was used in the past.
Finally, personal action can be anything you do in your life or work that helps move us toward a better future. If you are an artist of any kind putting goodness into the world, that matters. If you are a cook or baker working to feed people, even if it’s “just” the people in your family, that matters. If you are a person who speaks out for abortion rights, or against racism, or for trans rights, or against white supremacy: ALL OF IT MATTERS. And all of it counts.
It is all part of dismantling the patriarchy, which was created to benefit straight, white, cis-gendered men and to make minorities and LGBTQ+ folks and women and those who identify as non-binary “less than.”
As Ursula Wolfe-Rocca stated on Twitter in February of this year, “It can be overwhelming to witness/experience/take in all the injustices of the moment; the good news is that they’re all connected. So if your little corner of work involves pulling at one of the threads, you’re helping to unravel the whole damn cloth.”
I invite you to pause. To renew yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. To get help doing that if you need it. And then to take some sort of action.
Let’s unravel the patriarchy together. As the Talmud says, we don’t have to do it nonstop, but neither can we stop altogether.
Learn to be kinder to yourself
Snag your free PDF guide to self-love using this link.
