The Uncertainty Principle in the time of COVID
The Uncertainty Principle is usually a term found in the study of quantum physics. It was first articulated by Werner Heisenberg in 1927, and is a way of saying that it’s hard to perceive ALL of the qualities of an atomic particle at the same time. And yes, I just oversimplified that greatly, but truly, that’s what it comes down to.
But Kelly, you say, they told me there would be no math.
Yes, they are right. This isn’t truly about math, but about uncertainty. And about the principle that it is hard to know all the characteristics of a particle—or any other thing—at the same time. In fact, it’s completely overwhelming.
If you have ever looked at a cut diamond, perhaps in your own or someone else’s piece of jewelry, you will notice that you can’t appreciate it fully if you don’t start moving it around, and looking at the different facets of it. Also, that the more you are looking at any particular facet, the less you are seeing of the stone, really. And if you are wiggling it around to see the flashes of light it refracts, you are looking more at the light (and the wee rainbows) than you are at the diamond itself, right?
As you focus on one facet, the rest of the diamond becomes a bit uncertain. As you look at the light bouncing off of that facet, you lose sight of the diamond itself. If you are looking at the flashes of light “inside” the stone as it sparkles in the sun, you may appreciate the rainbow sparks, but the cold, hard stone isn’t what you can see.
This goes for life in the time of COVID-19, too.
“Regular” life required us to juggle a bunch of things—our health (including sleep, hydration, nutrition, exercise, medication and more), our work (including commuting, interpersonal relationships and personality dynamics, workplace stress, deadlines, and more), our social lives (who to see, when to see them, how to behave at any given outing, etc.), our families (who needs attention, who needs new clothes, who has decided to become vegan this week, what activities are they in, what support do they need, etc.), our hobbies, our mental health, our relationships, and more.
Some folks represent our “regular life” obligations as things that we carry, but I see them more as things we keep tossing in the air—sometimes more of them are in our hands than other times, sometimes one or more of them is heavier than others, but we keep juggling. We strive for balance.
And, of course, sometimes we drop one or more of those things. We hope that it bounces, but sometimes, things break.
And that is just when we are dealing with “regular life”.
Now add COVID.
The thing is, COVID-19 isn’t so much an additional thing that we juggle. The uncertainty comes because it is simultaneously more than one thing (new risk assessment, changing information as the virus creates more dangerous variants, inconsistent messages depending on whom you listen to), and because it refuses to behave like a juggled object at all.
It enters into the field of things we are juggling when and where and how it wants to, and it’s perfectly happy to behave erratically and try to purposefully (or so it seems) knock things out of our careful, precarious rotation. Just when we think we are starting to be able to add it to our juggling routine, it changes direction or size or spin and other things start falling to the ground.
It doesn’t wait its turn.
It doesn’t act predictably.
It refuses to let us get a handle on it.
As we continue trying to juggle all the “regular life” things, COVID-19 creates additional uncertainty and seriously ups the level of difficulty involved in doing any of our “regular life” stuff.
Depending on where you live, it may be affecting things like going to concerts or going out after work for drinks, or it may be affecting your ability to go to work at all. Maybe it decided to knock the “work outside the home” ball down, so you are telecommuting, or maybe it knocked the “you have a job to go to” ball down, and your workplace is closed.
Or maybe it got super sneaky, and smacked into the “kids in school” ball, and now you can’t go to your place of work because the kids are home, or—worse still, in some ways—you don’t yet know if the kids will be in school or not. Or if they start school, will school stay open? And if the school stays open but your kid is exposed to the virus, what then?
Then again, maybe you are in the same position I am. As a person who is immune-compromised due to rheumatoid arthritis (and the meds I take to control it), I’m left to wonder if I’m more susceptible to catching the virus or its new variants. So COVID has basically tapped my “personal health” ball and set it to spinning in unpredictable ways that means I have to pay more attention to it while juggling, which frankly makes me tired and cranky.
It was already a bit exhausting managing a chronic health issue, and now I keep dropping spoons* right and left in unpredictable ways.
Friend, this is why you are probably exhausted right now.
“Regular” life is taxing enough, for most of us. Living with the additional uncertainty caused by not knowing what will happen next, makes it nearly impossible to keep everything in the air.
If you are like most of my friends, you are trying to keep up with the news, which is like drinking from a fire hose (warning: do not try to drink from a fire hose). Also, one week the news reports that the CDC says you no longer need to wear a mask if you were vaccinated, and a few weeks later, mask requirements are back.
The scientists at the CDC are just reacting to whatever move that COVID and its variants have made, but it magnifies the uncertainty of things. If even the scientists who specialize in virology can’t know for sure what will happen next, it’s disconcerting for the rest of us (at best), and completely overwhelming.
What is a person to do?
What to do.
First, take a deep breath. I promise that there is time for you to take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the earth, look outside and see that the world is still here (at least at this moment). Remember that this moment is all any of us truly have, and as you exhale, say to yourself “at this moment, I am okay.”
Even if you weren’t fine just before this moment. Even if, in the next moment, you have to spring into action. At this moment, I am okay.
Second, remind yourself that very little in this world is actually within your control. I get it if this sounds scary as hell, but I have to say that it’s also tremendously freeing. What IS in your control is how you react or respond to things.
Do you have any control over what the news about COVID is? Over the trajectory of the virus? Over whether other people do or do not get vaccinated? Over the wearing of masks inside the Piggly Wiggly? Over people threatening pediatricians who are looking out for the health of young kids?
Probably not.
But you can control your own responses.
You can step away from the news if it is overwhelming you. You can reduce your intake of social media if it’s making you upset. You can do this for an hour, or a day, or even longer.
You can decide to wear a mask even if you are the only person in the Pig to do so. You can decide to order new KN95 masks. (I just ordered these FDA-approved ones.) You can decide to do curb-side pickup rather than go into the store, or pay for delivery if it’s within your means to do so.
You can opt not to threaten people who think kids should wear masks, or you can send a note to a doctor you admire who is speaking up (and therefore liable to be getting hate mail).
Will doing those things reduce the general uncertainty in this here world of ours? Well, no. But those things might make you feel a bit more like you have some control, because your own reactions or responses to circumstances around you are the only things you can actually do anything about.
Third, you can give yourself some grace. As the graphic in this blog post from last year says, “it’s okay not to be at your most productive during a fucking global pandemic.” It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay if you wake up and think that you just don’t wanna deal with this shit.
Choosing how you respond to something doesn’t mean pretending that nothing is wrong. It doesn’t mean not getting upset over things that are upsetting. That sort of bypassing doesn’t help anybody. That whole “put on a happy face” bullshit? Yeah, it’s bullshit.
It’s okay to let those negative emotions wash through you. If you find that they aren’t “washing through”, however, and you are getting stuck in them, please know that you can (and probably should) reach out for some help to get yourself out, whether it’s talking with a friend or family member, or talking with a therapist.
Fourth, lean into self-care. Whether that is taking a nap, taking some time to paint your nails or apply a mask, or taking a bubble bath (the “fun”-level self-care stuff) or making sure that you are eating, hydrating, getting some movement in, and getting some sleep (the base-level stuff), please make sure that you are supporting your body and your brain so that they can do their best for you during these extraordinarily trying times.
Finally, take another deep breath. It’s one of those things that is great for calming anxiety. Again, focus on this moment, right now. As you exhale, think or say “At this moment, I am okay.”
Why the deep breaths? Check out this post, “Breathe. Just breathe.”, which is the first in a lengthy series of posts to help you reduce anxiousness. Scroll through the blog posts that follow if you’d like. There are 17 posts to help you lower your anxiety.
I also wrote a book to help you lower your anxiety. And because I am a “what you see is what you get” girl, it’s called (wait for it) Lower Your Anxiety. You can download it here for half off — it’s only $15.
P.S.—*Why did I mention spoons? I recommend this post on dealing with chronic or “invisible” illnesses, entitled “The Spoon Theory”, by Christine Miserandino. She likens the amount of energy a person has in a given day to a handful of spoons, based on a real-life conversation she had in a diner. Some days you wake up with tons of spoons and can do ALL THE THINGS. Some days, you are lucky if you have enough spoons to get up, brush your teeth, and get something to eat.
“Spoon theory” was developed to explain why it is that those of us with chronic illnesses (like my autoimmune dysfunction, or my friend who has ME/CFS) sometimes can present as “normal” and sometimes need to call off things that most “normal” people see as no big deal, like a coffee date. But I think ALL people can grasp it and understand that they, too, have a limited number of spoons. On a day when you have your period, or haven’t slept, or have been dealing with, I dunno, a fucking global pandemic, perhaps you have fewer spoons than on a much better day. Be gentle with yourself.
