Thanksgiving Planning
My upcoming program, All is Calm, is all about simplifying the holidays. About choosing how you most want to feel, and then doing what you can to create that feeling for yourself.
Morris and I will be staying home (again) this year, so I am about to write up a menu of what I’m making for the meal. Which will be far too much food for the two of us, but then we have the benefit of leftovers, which makes me super happy.
For me, the holiday is about family, and the meal is about having our favorite things. Morris doesn’t truly have “favorite things” for the meal, apart from wanting turkey, which on the one hand is a little sad, and on the other hand makes him easy to cook for.
Meanwhile, I am all about lots of nostalgic dishes, and also there are certain things that I “must have” or it’s not Thanksgiving. One of those things is Cranberry Bread, made from my great-grandmother Wilson’s recipe, so I make it every year. Another is stuffing, made the same way my mother (actually, the way her mother) made it. It involves pulling an entire loaf of crappy white bread out of its bag and spreading it out the night before so that it gets stale-ish, plus lots of butter, celery, onions, salt, and Bell’s poultry seasoning. (Yes. The brand matters. No. I don’t know exactly why.)
My basic menu, in case you are wondering, is: turkey, stuffing (not cooked inside the turkey), mashed potatoes, cranberry bread, homemade cranberry sauce, a green vegetable (maybe Brussels sprouts), possibly candied sweet potatoes, and definitely pumpkin pie.
Growing up, most of that was typical Thanksgiving, whether we were at my parents’ house, either set of grandparents’ houses, or with one of my aunts. There could be additional courses or sides or desserts, but that was essentially the core menu, and sticking with it makes me feel really close to my great-grandmother (whom I knew), to my grandparents and to my Aunt Janet, and so that’s what I still make.
Some years, my mother added dinner rolls—the kind you pop into the oven and bake just before the meal. At least once they burned to a crisp. At least twice she forgot all about them and they never got baked or served at all. (If you skip to the PDF I made for you, you will see “Write a list of everything you are making so you don’t forget any dishes.” Now you know why that’s there.)
Thanksgiving is two weeks from today.
My ALL IS CALM program can for sure help you simplify the holiday by focusing on what is important to you, but it doesn’t start until November 21st. Which is about when most people need to be taking the turkey out of the freezer to defrost it in time for Thanksgiving, so it occurred to me that maybe talking about Thanksgiving NOW so that you are able to create the holiday you most want could help.
I’ve got some tips below on getting yourself energetically prepared for the holiday, and also for actually planning things for the day. It includes a Thanksgiving Planner that I created with this year’s supply chain issues in mind, so that you don’t find out that you can’t get canned green beans for your casserole, or that the store is out of frozen turkeys. Oh—and hot tip for those of you who deep-fry their turkey: I’m hearing that peanut oil may be in short supply, so grab your jugs now. (Yes, that sounded inappropriate, and I am laughing. GRAB YOUR JUGS!)
Here are a few tips from my ALL IS CALM program to help you get ready for Thanksgiving.
First off, envision how you want to feel.
How do you want to feel for this holiday? How do you want Thanksgiving to feel for others? If you are like most people I know, you’d like for it to be fabulous, but not frantic. The rest of the vibe (calm, fun, silly, etc.) is up to you.
Maybe you want it to be super traditional (like me), or super non-traditional, so you are hosting a chili competition or bake-off instead. Maybe you want all the fixings (again, like me), or maybe you are like “tofurkey, mashed potatoes, and a side works.” Maybe you want things to feel super adventurous, and try lots of new things. Or you just want to skip that one dish that you always make because it’s a family favorite, only you absolutely hate it.
Energetically, if you have decided that you want to feel peaceful for this holiday, you might adopt a daily affirmation between now and then. Try “I decide how I will feel, and today I will feel peaceful.” Or just “I am at peace.” If something pops up to shake that feeling, try “Even though things are challenging, I choose to remain peaceful.” You can replace the word “peaceful” in the above affirmations with any word that speaks to you: calm, happy, thankful, etc.
Next, plan your holiday.
Who do you want to spend it with? And can you make that happen? Even if you “have to” spend time with certain family members, can you also make plans to spend time with others?
If you aren’t psyched about one or more of the people you will spend time with, can you make plans to guard your energy? Can you minimize your contact by planning activities?
If you are traveling for Thanksgiving this year, do you have your travel plans in place? Is COVID testing or proof of vaccination required? If so, do you have what you need?
Can you do anything right now to make your traveling easier for yourself? This could include planning what to pack, to avoid that night-before stress and the niggling feeling that you may have forgotten something important.
If you are cooking for the holiday, do you have a menu created? If not, may I suggest you do that ASAP, so you can shop for all the non-perishables right away (to avoid any supply chain hiccups) and have a list of the stuff you need to buy closer to the day?
Also, if you are hosting the meal, can you ask others to bring things? Either sides, the turkey (if you hate cooking it), serving dishes or utensils (if you’re short), or desserts or beverages or paper goods? Then send those folks a reminder on the weekend before Thanksgiving so they don’t forget.
If you are hosting, then I have created a Thanksgiving Planner for you, and it is designed with this year’s supply challenges in mind. It’s why it will tell you to go get all your non-perishables NOW, instead of waiting for the week before. Same goes for any cleaning supplies, paper goods, or storage containers/foil/plastic wrap you may need, though I didn’t put those on the list.
Get your planner here, or click on the image below.
After the meal is over . . .
First, while there’s no rush to clean everything up, you of course need to make sure you are storing food properly. Don’t stick a bunch of hot stuff straight into the fridge, but of course, don’t let it all sit on the table or counter for hours, either. Safety first!
Second, there is absolutely no reason that you have to be the person who cleans all the things. It’s fine to accept help from anyone who offers, and it’s more than fine to ask for help if you need it. Or even to pay for help, for that matter.
Third, when you are in the midst of cleaning up, I suggest making it as fun or meaningful for yourself as you can. That could mean lighting a favorite candle in the kitchen, putting on music (happy, quiet, whatever floats your boat), or something else.
It can be easy to resent all the clean-up, but if you remind yourself how you intend to feel (peaceful, happy, thankful, etc.) as you go, it can actually make cleaning up part of that experience. For instance, reminding yourself that you are thankful to have the food, to have the people, that so-and-so enjoyed this dish, etc. can help you not mind cleaning up, but to see it as a way of reviewing your day and the meal, and further grounding yourself in that feeling you wanted for yourself.
Finally, once all is cleaned up and things are quiet, consider journaling about the day, and about what worked (and what didn’t). Maybe you want to focus on gratitude practice, which is always a good thing. But I’m not going to tell you to focus only on the good—there is value in working through anything that was upsetting or that didn’t go well.
For example, if you have been reminded that your brother-in-law always starts an argument, gets drunk, and causes a scene (but you block that out each year to keep the peace), it’s a good time to write down what happened, how it made you feel, and what you want to do about it going forward.
If the energy in your space feels funky, either because it still feels “loud” in your space after so many people and/or so much happiness, or because something was off and there is residual heavy energy, consider doing an energy clearing in the space. Let some fresh air in, light a candle or some incense to help clear the air or diffuse essential oils (lemon, lavender, sandalwood or frankincense are all good choices—I also like a mix of orange and cedar wood). Or consider smudging the space with an herb bundle or using palo santo smoke in the space (please be sure you have adequate ventilation if you are using smoke inside your space to cleanse the energy).
Want more tips? Please join me for ALL IS CALM: Simplify Your Holidays! We start on November 21st with our first week’s theme ENVISION, and our first group coaching call is on Monday, November 22nd at noon EST.
