Still journaling, still granting myself some grace
For those of you wondering how my new habit is going, I can report that I am still journaling. There was a day that I missed by mistake when I wasn’t feeling well, and one that I skipped intentionally (also for that reason).
I refuse to beat myself up for the missed days. Because I am positive that if I miss a day, it doesn’t mean that I’m no longer a person who journals every day. The only way I stop being a person who journals every day is if I decide to give it up.
A bit of encouragement, if your new habit isn’t sticking as well as you might like.
Two things have helped me to stick with my new daily journaling habit and to not feel defeated on those occasions where I’ve missed a day, or settled for a couple of lines instead of pouring my thoughts onto the page:
The fact that I made a decision that I am now a person who journals every day turns out to be a sustaining thought. I’ve got a client who went from sporadic tooth-flossing to daily as a habit because she affirmed it as her new identity: a person who flosses every day. So if your habit is something reasonable to expect yourself to do daily (or every other day, or whatever your interval is): declare your identity.
You aren’t a person working on developing a habit. You are a person who lifts weights three times a week. A person who loads the dishwasher and runs it every night. A person who reads for half an hour each day. A person who does meal prep for the week every Sunday.
Do not put unnecessary weight on your new habit. Hold it lightly. Allow yourself to be human, and to take a pass on occasion if there’s a decent reason.
I know when I’m bullshitting myself and my guess is so do you—but you also know when you need a break, or when you need to suck it up and do the thing. Don’t push yourself to exercise if you’re sick or injured. Don’t push yourself to rush back to normal if you’ve had Covid (seriously: the studies on this are super clear, and rest is best).
Final note: If you are super stressed, ask yourself whether this new habit is working for you or not. Maybe the new habit is fine, but you are overdoing elsewhere. Then again, maybe you are trying to “make fetch happen”, when you need to stop.
It’s okay for you to take a break. It’s okay to change course (and that includes abandoning something that you hate or that isn’t working for you). It’s okay to take a rest rather than pushing through (and, in fact, more people need to do that.)
For those of you who are feeling anxious these days, whether because of health issues, stuff in the news, or something else, or those of you who are having issues with insomnia or difficulty sleeping, I want to point out that both of my books here are on sale. In fact, you can get both of them as a bundle for $22 right now.
Lower Your Anxiety is a 54-page e-book that contains 17 tips to help you lower your anxiety, from physical things like exercise and eating to activities like journaling and meditation. The book comes with a self-coaching exercise and journaling pages, as well as a hydration tracker. (On sale for $15)
12 Tips to Help You Sleep is a 30-page e-book that contains 12 tips to help you sleep, from physical things like taking a warm bath and watching what you drink to actions like reading, cutting down on screen use, practicing gratitude, and sex (yes, we go there). (On sale for $10)
