Find out where joy resides.

Wanna know one of the “trends” I see among clients?

It’s a tendency to be so bogged down with what we see as the demands of daily life—the things we “should” be doing—that we miss out on finding pockets of fun and joy.

We tell ourselves that there will be time enough for happiness once we do other things. Maybe we have to earn a certain amount of money before we believe we can be joyful. Or maybe we think we have to take care of everyone else’s wants and needs before we do anything for ourselves.

We “should” do more at work, and at home, and for friends and relatives and possibly even strangers.

Please stop “shoulding” all over yourself.

The word “should” is a very heavy word. It carries with it a ton of obligation, and it settles on our shoulders and the tops of our heads like a heavy bag full of wet sand and it presses on us, pushing us and our energy down. It steals our joy, and it does it in a sneaky way by making us think we are somehow “doing good” by chasing all the things we should do, rather than chasing our own joy.

Worse, the things we “should” do manage to multiply with the speed and enthusiasm of bunnies. The list of things that we feel we should do somehow manages to grow, regardless of how many things we are able to cross off at any given time. It essentially becomes an endless scroll.

Waiting until we have completed the list to find pockets of fun and/or joy means deferring those things until after “someday” and all the way until “never.”

Please do not defer your joy.

You are a child of the Universe—and good things are part of your birthright.

Sadly, that doesn’t mean that only good things come our way on a daily level, but certainly they are something that’s available to us in our lives. It is never too late or too early to experience joy in your life, and to do that on a daily basis.

Maybe that source of fun or joy is something small: a quiet moment with a cup of coffee, tea or another beverage; a piece of good chocolate during your break time; a personal dance party to your favorite song. (My current dance pick is “Free” by Florence + The Machine, which has an awesome video featuring Florence as herself, and Billy Nighy as “her anxiety”.)

Maybe your sense of fun is fulfilled by watching an episode of a favorite show, or maybe it’s something less passive, such as making s’mores (I just got the supplies!), blowing bubbles, or working on a piece of art. Maybe it is taking time to read, even if it’s just for ten minutes. Perhaps it is working on a puzzle, building a dollhouse, or arranging flowers.

Maybe your sense of joy comes from interacting with other people: a coffee break or lunch date with a friend; paying the tab for a stranger or leaving an overly large tip; time spent spraying your kids with a hose or running through the sprinkler; making something together for the fun of it, not because you “should.”

Put yourself and your joy on your own daily to-do list. Whether it’s something small that delights you or something larger, prioritize your joy and happiness each and every day. Whether those things nurture you, amuse you, or tickle your fancy . . . put something on your list every day.

For one thing, it’s literally the least you can do to be kind to yourself. For another, seeking things that bring you joy, delight you, and bring you happiness means that each day, you are ensuring that you have at least that one piece of delight and gratitude, which help to raise your energetic vibration and attract more abundance into your life.

As Robert Louis Stevenson wrote in Across the Plains, one of his travelogues, “to miss the joy is to miss all.”