What if nothing is ever the same again?
This is a particular type of anxiety that I’m starting to see from a lot of different sources: friends, relatives, accounts in the news . . . So I figured that following a long series of posts about anxiety, we would talk about this particular fear/concern.
I am pretty positive (like 99.99% certain) that things will not be the same again once we are allowed to return to work, school, and other parts of normal daily living.
And that’s okay.
We keep moving forward, so it makes sense that there will be no going back.
One of the things I’ve been giving thought to while we stay at home during New Jersey’s shut down is which parts of this physical distancing experience I would like to keep in place once our society begins to open again.
I find that I feel less rushed and pressured in general. With less need or opportunity to go anywhere, the day feels longer, or perhaps more expansive somehow. Mondays through Thursdays, I used to try to finish my work before Morris got home. Now, with him not leaving, we’ve settled into a different pattern.
Also, with Morris being home and the two of us having exceedingly different tastes in entertainment, we compromise by having the TV on less, which turns out to make space for me to do more in my day. (I mean, DUH, but still. )
I’d like to hang onto the “not taking things for granted” as we move forward. And to the “we are in this together” parts, where my mask protects you, and your mask protects me.
I’m certain some things will be the same as before: we will find ways to be together. We will eventually figure out how to eat in restaurants, and see things in theaters, and go shopping in stores. We will figure out how to travel, and how to visit people and celebrate our life events.
Maybe, as you’ve been dealing with the shutdown, whether you are at home or still at work, you have started to assess whether you want to stay on the current path you find yourself on. There may be things you have realized you would like to change going forward.
Maybe you want a different job: something more in alignment with who you are now, or who you are becoming. Maybe you want to do more when it comes to volunteering, or want to reconsider how you set your priorities. Maybe you want to find a way to embrace more of your own creative impulses. Or you regret putting off things like travel, school or other training, moving/downsizing, or something else.
I’ve been hearing that a lot from friends and clients, so if you are reconsidering your life choices during quarantine, you are in good company. I’m here if you need some life coaching to help you sort it out, or to help navigate any changes you decide to make.
Just as there are things you may want to change or add for the future, there may be some things you would like to leave in the past. Maybe a bit of the rushing. Maybe some of the busy for busy’s sake. Maybe some of the over-scheduling. Maybe you’d like to stop saying “yes” to things you don’t want to do, so you can focus more on the things you do want. Remember that every time you say yes to something you don’t want to do, you are saying no to yourself.
Instead, I find myself wanting to embrace this quote from A Room of One’s Own, “no need to hurry, no need to sparkle, no need to be anybody but oneself.” I’m more than ready to put down the masks that hide me and set aside the hustle. I might still be up for a bit of sparkle now and again, but wouldn’t it be lovely to take some spaciousness into the “after”?
