Three tips to incorporating more HYGGE into your life

I know that last week I talked about something that happened over the Thanksgiving holiday (when someone laughed in my face after I told them about my life coaching work), and I want to thank each and every one of you who reached out in person, by comment here or on social media, or by email. You all lift me up and it meant the world to me to hear from you.

One of the things I’ve done for myself this week is to foster a sense of coziness in my home that is basically a way of embracing the concept of hygge.

HYGGE (pronounced somewhere between HOO-guh and HEW-guh) is the Danish word for a sort of mindful coziness. Now, I’m a word geek who absolutely loves things like etymology (the history of words and their meanings), and the background of the current Danish word is fascinating.

The word hygge derives from an old Norse word that is about comforting, and is related to the Old German word that came over into English as “hug”. Kind of fun to know, especially when you are trying to get a handle on the concept. It’s like living inside a hug.

If you are interested in incorporating hygge into your life as a way of slower, cozier living, especially in winter, which has already showed up for a good percentage of the country, calendar be damned, then here are

three concrete tips that will help you to get started:

First, tidy up a bit.

Maybe you have been binge-watching Marie Kondo’s “Tidying Up” on Netflix, or have read her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, in which case this idea may already be on your radar. Or perhaps you read my earlier blog posts about decluttering, including this one from September. I’m not telling you to get rid of your favorite things (those stay!) or to completely clear out your bookcases (heaven forbid — though weeding out those books that you don’t like or that make you feel bad about not loving them is a great idea).

Tidying up is good for creating comfort (hygge), but also it’s good feng shui (the Chinese art of arranging your home so that qi (chi) energy flows in a healthy manner). Tidying up and introducing ideas based in hygge help reduce stress, since they allow you to find things when you want them, your things are no longer taunting you by being in disarray, and you are feeling “hugged” by your home.

One tip that works super well, and that has helped some friends and clients of mine as well, is to find one space in each room to keep clear and tidy, to give your eye a place to rest. It works best if you can do this with the largest thing in the room. For instance, a made bed in a bedroom (without stuff piled all over it) gives your eye a place to rest. And as Navy Seal Admiral McRaven says in this speech (which has gone viral and also become a small book), it will give you a sense of purpose and achievement. If you can keep the dining table clear, the dining room will seem okay. Same goes for the island in your kitchen, or at least a stretch of countertop.

Second, organize your stuff.

If you have massive piles of books all over the place, consider obtaining a bookcase and corralling those books in one place. Or put them into crates or baskets according to your plans for them. If you, like me, have a ton of books for research for your business or your work-in-progress, keep those together so you can find the right pile when you need a book. Same goes for general “to-read” books, books about a specific topic that you are learning about, etc. This is especially clutch when it comes to library books, which usually have a due-date and sometimes go missing. *cough*

If you (like me) have Serious Paper Issues involving mail and articles that you intend to read but haven’t gotten to yet, figure out (a) where to keep them and (b) if there is an organizational device that would work for you. For some people, a set of mail bins is super helpful; others prefer a few folders; still others are fond of binder clips, or boxes, or a file system.

Quite seriously, I’m best with piling stuff in one place on my desk and scheduling time to go through it each week, then filing the stuff I need to keep and recycling everything else. I have tried and failed at many, many other options/ideas, so this is what I do now.

Also? When it comes to systems, assess what you actually need. Forking out a lot of money on boxes, baskets, bins, and folders that just contribute to your stress and/or clutter level makes no sense (no matter how tempting those Container Store catalogs look). If you won’t actually use the things you buy, you will just end up with more stuff to manage.

Third, allow yourself to relax and enjoy your space.

Introduce cozy elements such as lit candles, an afghan, or other comforts into your living space. Take time to enjoy and appreciate your space. Take a few minutes to enjoy and appreciate your day.

Make your favorite tea or coffee or pour yourself a cocktail or glass of wine or beer. Pull out a piece of paper or journal and write down three things you feel grateful for. Spend a bit of time having an actual conversation, in person or by telephone. Send a note to someone you appreciate having in your life, either the old-school way (using a card or stationery) or via email or text. Spend time with friends and loved ones in your space, enjoying conversation or board games.

Because self-care and personal interactions are both part of hygge, even though they can sometimes feel like opposite things. It’s about feeling cozy and also having a warm, welcoming feeling. So do what makes you feel “hugged.”