The right question
I have written and deleted at least four blog posts. Posts about rage. About outrage. About trauma in the body. About self-care, and how we really, truly need to be caring for ourselves right now so that we don’t burn out.
I keep asking myself: what can I do right now to best be of service to my people?
Part of me doesn’t know the “right” answer to that question, but I have at least decided that it is the RIGHT question for me, right now. And maybe it’s the right one for all of us.
From the movie I, Robot
What can I do right now to best be of service to my people?
To answer this question, I feel it’s important for each of us to break it down. To that end, here are the component parts, with some thoughts about each one and how we might answer them.
What can I do?
What can I do? The answer has to be an action, not inaction.
According to Chinese astrologers, the Year of the Fire Horse started today, as the year shifts from Yin (quiet, internal) energy to Yang (active, external) energy. According to those astrologers, the strategy for the year is to make decisions and take action. Don’t wait around or you’ll be passed by, but also be sure your actions are based on an actual decision so you don’t flame out.
We need to be moving into action, not waiting around. We somehow need to find a way to be decisive, in a time when external forces are trying to bury us in energetic quicksand. Because overwhelming us with awfulness is a strategy designed to cause us to feel hopeless and give up.
One of the risks is that we get mad, a word I am using deliberately for the dual meaning of angry and crazed, but confuse that for action. My first ex-husband used to say “when in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout” as a way of pointing out that the response to bad things is often self-defeating inaction.
Because running in circles, screaming, is not actually doing something, even if action is involved. "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing,” as Lady Macbeth so aptly put it.
The answer has to be an action that actually accomplishes something. Possibilities include: taking care of your own physical and mental health; helping a friend or neighbor with theirs; volunteering or donating to a local cause that helps people in need and calling representatives at all levels for things that need to be addressed—not just those in congress, but those in the governor’s mansion or statehouse, and even those at the local level in county or local governance, including the school board. If they are in elected office and you are their constituent, it’s time to get loud.
Right now
What action can you take right this moment? Or at least, what can you do TODAY? Yes, you can plan to do things in the future, from donating to attending a rally or town hall, to baking cookies for a friend in need. But what is one thing you can do pretty much immediately?
It doesn’t have to be big. But you should be doing something every day.
This includes things like “taking my medications”, by the way. Because many of us have become overwhelmed and distracted, and I guarantee you that taking your medications (whatever they are) is in your best interest. Eating something and staying hydrated are also on that list. Basically, basic self-care (the stuff at the base of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) is all stuff you should address right now, before you stretch to do other things.
If you need some actions/reminders, you can find them in this past post, entitled “Feeling as anxious as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs”.
To best be of service
This is a way of evaluating your choices. Maybe you have a list ten possible actions you could take today.
Can you rank them?
How do you decide how to best be of service? For one thing, self-care needs to be HIGH on your list of priorities. This is something I have written about many times, in many places, including this article for Tiny Buddha. Because if you skip the things you need (as discussed a bit above), you are going to drop. Maybe you will just fizzle out and no longer be able to be useful, maybe it will be more cataclysmic than that. Let’s not find out.
Maybe you, like me, live somewhere that isn’t dealing with daily incursions by armed government agents who are assaulting your neighbors. For us, the way to best be of service might be those phone calls and pressure on elected representatives. Or it might be helping local organizations that are helping communities who need assistance, whether they are immigrants or others.
There is always a need for food assistance, for warm clothes for those who lack them, for donations to places that need assistance—from public broadcasting to organizations on the ground in Minneapolis and elsewhere. Figure out which one cause you want to focus on (for a day, a week, a month, or longer) and do what you can to help there, rather than scattering your energy in many places.
To my people
Who are your people?
For me, the answer lies in concentric circles. In the center is me. My spouse and children (which includes my son-in-law and grandchild) are in the next circle. Other people are arrayed in outer bands, and sometimes they shift from one circle to another. My friends and extended family are in those circles, as are you, dear reader. Because anyone I actively interact with is definitely part of “my people”.
As an empathetic person who is concerned with those on the margins, and those less fortunate, I see those folks in my circles as well, so “my people” include trans kids who are being told they can’t play organized sports, as well as ALL kids being told they have to pass “sex tests” to participate. “My people” includes immigrants who live in my country peaceably and contribute to making this a better country, regardless of their documentation. “My people” includes women and girls who are discriminated against or who have been mistreated (whether physically or not).
Right now, to best be of service to my people
What I am doing today, right now (as a matter of fact) to best be of service to my people is writing this here blog post, in hopes that it helps at least one person to have a bit more sense of control, and a bit less missegosh (a fine Yiddish word describing crazy or senseless behavior and activity). Less “run in circles, scream and shout” and more “take a deep breath, make a decision, then take a step”.
In looking back for a specific blog post (the one listed above, about self-care), I find that the “self-care” tab on my blog has scores of posts that might be helpful to you right now if you are feeling overwhelmed. Here are a few that might help:
You cannot pour from an empty cup. This post deals with those who are in or near the edge of burnout, and was written near the winter holidays in 2024, but it gives specific suggestions for when you are running on empty.
If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. As my quote says, “if you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. In fact, that’s pretty much ‘normal’ right now.” This one discusses rolling, ongoing trauma (definitely applies to our current situation involving the revelations in the Epstein files and the ongoing attacks on our democracy and the way our government is doing its best to become fascist). And it has lots of links to resources.
When things feel heavy, put them down. A simple reminder.
What you need to do if you feel overwhelmed. This post I wrote for Tiny Buddha might be useful to you.
A roundup of free resources for you. It isn’t up to date, but it does include quite a few good things, from printables to a downloadable meditation to links to resources here on the blog.
MY answer to the question for today included this blog post and all those resources I just linked to. What is YOUR answer: What can you do right now to best be of service to your people? Pick a category of people, make a decision, and go.
And then, if you can, let that be enough for today. Because this history we are living is not a sprint. Hell, it’s not even a marathon. It’s an unending ultramarathon, and the end is nowhere in sight.
Let enough be enough.