How to stop living the same year on repeat
Ever heard that saying, “same shit, different day?”
Worse, does it feel like that describes your life, day in and day out?
Have you been living the same day, week, month and even year on repeat?
I’d love for you to stop for a second and really ponder that question: Have you been reliving the same day, week, month and/or year?
And how would you know?
Well, here are a few questions for you:
When is the last time you changed jobs, or changed any of your job duties?
When is the last time you started a new hobby or learned a new skill?
When is the last time you delegated something or stopped doing a task that you dislike?
When is the last time you replenished your wardrobe? Changed your movement schedule, frequency, or what it is you do? Got a new hairstyle?
I’m sure there are a ton more questions I could pose, but those should be enough to get you started.
Confession: There have been years in my life where I did not advance my own dreams and goals.
Back when I was a practicing attorney and a single mother with two young kids, I for sure just threw myself onto a hamster wheel and kept running, year after year, until eventually things fell apart. (Not the hamster wheel, but the hamster: I developed rheumatoid arthritis, likely as a result of stress and overdoing.)
For several years running, I got up, got the kids up and ready, dropped them at daycare or school, then drove to work, where I put in an obscene amount of hours. I would leave work in the nick of time to make it to the kids at the last possible minute of daycare or after-school care, make dinner, do bath time and bedtime, try to tidy things, then do some more work before collapsing. Weekends were for cleaning the house, grocery shopping, yard work, and shlepping the kids to parties or activities.
Later, rinse, repeat.
Several years passed in a blur, and it is hard to recall what exactly happened, or when.
It was almost a relief when I became disabled due to RA just before my second marriage. My life became simpler in some ways: no commute, no day job, now I had a spouse who could (in theory) help. But it was replaced with the things that come with autoimmune disease, and as it turned out, my second husband wasn’t especially helpful around the house.
I for sure lived the same year on repeat for a couple years during that marriage, trying to decide whether to pull the trigger and ask for a divorce or not. And here’s the thing: Refusal to deal with your issues allows you to tread water for a very long time. You never drown, but you never get anywhere good, either.
“Refusal to deal with your issues allows you to tread water for a very long time. You never drown, but you never get anywhere good, either.”
To start with, let me say that “doing the same thing” (having schedules and routines) isn’t necessarily the issue, as long as those things are serving you and are in service for the life you want to live. If you are in the relationships you want, in the job you want, finding fulfillment from your life and activities, and on track toward your dreams, then this post is not for you.
But if you are putting up with things that don’t bring you joy or fulfillment, or you have goals and desires that you have tabled, then this is your reminder to wake yourself up and start to take action.
Ask yourself each day, “what have I done today to move myself in the direction of my goals?”
Have you been dreaming of plans for someday, but not taking action in that direction?
If you have something you want to do—whether it’s repainting your bedroom, updating your wardrobe, finding a new job or career, starting a new hobby, leaving a relationship (of any sort) that doesn’t serve you—you are going to want to figure out a pathway for yourself.
You don’t have to know the entire route. You just have to see that first step or two.
Because once you start into action, you are no longer treading water. Instead, you are making progress—and all sorts of possibilities may come into play to help you toward where you want to go, or even deliver something better than you expected.
But it can only happen if you figure out a step, then take it.
Supporting clients on their paths is one of the things I do in my one-on-one coaching, and I have room for three new 1:1 clients in my schedule. If you’d like to set up a 1:1 session, get in touch here, or ping me on social media.
P.S.: Just a head’s up: in March, I will be running my Dream It, Do It workshop again, which can help you to dig out or dust off your dreams and work out a path toward it.
