Celebrate yourself and your dreams
When is the last time you sat and dreamed about your future?
For me, it was just last week. I set aside several hours to dream and journal about what I’d like my life to be like: what I want from my coaching business, what I want to write and paint, what I sorts of challenges I’d like to undertake in those ventures. It included dreaming about people I might want to meet or collaborate with, what courses and products I’d like to offer, and what I’d like to be most known for.
I also dreamed about my personal life: places I’d like to visit with Morris and/or my daughters. What sorts of relationships I’d like to have with the people in my life. Experiences I would like to try. Things I might want to purchase, places I want to be able to donate money to.
There were things that surprised me, such as writing a particular book (which is now a goal) and doing a massive speaking tour (who, me?). And there were things that didn’t surprise me at all, such as wanting to travel, and wanting to lean into my energy work so that I can help as many clients as possible.
Part of the reason that I did this exercise last week is because it’s almost the second quarter of 2022. Part of it is because April is my birthday month, and I am planning on spending the entire month celebrating myself and having fun.
From new LEGO sets that I plan on building (Assembly Square! a bouquet of flowers!) to new jigsaw puzzles to sidewalk chalk to adorable paper plates for cake to masks for my face and feet to a tiny rainbow piñata, I am planning on spoiling myself next month. I’m hoping to get to a Phillies game, and maybe spend a weekend away with Morris.
No shade to the people I love, but I’ve had some pretty crappy birthdays over the past few years, including the one in 2020 where I ended up stuck in the hospital for my birthday with no visitors allowed due to COVID. I went in for what we hoped would be an out-patient endoscopy the day before my birthday to remove some adenoma from my duodenum (glamorous!), and it was so extensive that I ended up being admitted for two days. The plus-side was that we caught it before it could morph into cancer, but man, did that birthday suck.
So this year, I’m taking a page from a friend of mine in Texas and devoting some serious time to play and fun and pampering myself. I’m also planning on leaning into my dreams. To choosing the unfamiliar paths I have been avoiding in order to stay inside my comfort zone, and see if I can make some of those dreams come true.
It is likely to include entirely tedious, unsexy things like overhauling my website, at least a bit. I’ll be revisiting color and font choices along with rewriting the copy for most of the pages. Because I’m also doing the hard work of envisioning what my business should feel like when you stop by on these internet streets.
I’d love for you to let me know in the comments what you think of NOW when you see my posts or think about what I do here as a coach and consultant. And if there’s anything in particular you’d like me to be clearer about, that would be welcome info too!
One of the dreams I have is to book myself on a weekend away next quarter, just by myself, in order to spend more time thinking about what I offer, what I want to create, and what sorts of steps I need to take to make these dreams come true. In my dream, it’s a hotel that has bar service pool side, so you know what sort of vibe I’m thinking of when it comes to that get-away. (I’ll let you know if and when I do it!)
In the meantime, I’m sharing some questions with you so you can schedule your own dreaming day. I’d love for you to take yourself someplace beautiful for a couple hours, and to spoil yourself with your favorite beverages and snacks as you do nothing but dream about what you’d like to be, do and have in your life. That could mean anything from putting your feet up on your porch or patio with a thermos of hot tea to taking yourself to a nearby coffee shop to booking yourself a room in a nearby hotel and ordering room service.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself
First, know that all of these questions can be simplified down to this:
What do you want to be, do, and have?
What you want to BE includes all sorts of topics or questions. Do you like your current job? Do you want to change jobs or careers, or retire? Do you want to take on a side hustle? Are you ready to become a parent? Do you want a life partner? Do you want out of a relationship? Do you want to be more connected with family members, or to disconnect from one or more of them? Do you want to be more involved in your community? Do you want to pull back from some obligations? Is there something you want to become? Are there new roles you would like to investigate or pursue?
What you want to DO may have all sorts of topics or questions, too. Maybe you want to take up a new hobby. Or redecorate your house. Or host a family reunion. Or dye your hair purple (I recommend this, though mine is now multi-colored, including my own gray, plus teal, plum, and blue). Maybe you want to STOP doing some things—such as stopping negative self-talk, or engaging in procrastination. (I can help with those!)
What you want to HAVE is fun, because it is, in part, a dream shopping list. Maybe you want a new car or truck. Or a new place to live. Or a vacation home. Or a boat. Or a tattoo. Or a library in your house that has a secret entry. Maybe you want to have more time or freedom to be and do the things in the earlier lists.
Some rules for this exercise:
Don’t censor yourself. This exercise is for you to uncover what it is you most want. Sometimes you have to write out a long list of stuff you want, including lots of “wouldn’t it be nice” things, in order to uncover what it is that you truly desire. Write it ALL out, and worry about whether it’s realistic later.
Don’t police yourself based on your current living situation or finances. If something feels unattainable or “too late in life,” allow yourself to sit with the discomfort of that, but don’t stop yourself from deciding if that dream is for you. (I mean, within reason: if you are already in your 50s, like I am, it’s a bit too late to be Miss Teen USA.)
Do think about the different areas of your life: career, home, relationships, health, finances, creativity, hobbies, family, education, travel, self-care, leisure, spirituality, etc.
When you hit the end of a category, ask yourself “WHAT ELSE?” Do this at least three times to be sure that you’ve gotten it all out.
Once you’ve gotten your answers down, put them aside for at least a day. See what things call to you most, or keep coming into your mind. Which things are you truly fired up about?
I’d love to know if you do this exercise, and how it goes for you. Feel free to leave a comment here or get in touch using the contact link. And the same goes for if you have any thoughts or questions to share with me about what I offer!
