Why you aren't working toward your goal
You’ve set a goal by adding a due date to your dream and writing it down, as described in this prior post. You’ve gone to the effort of creating a S.M.A.R.T. goal, using the steps in last week’s post.
And now?
Now you’re dithering.
You want this goal—sometimes very, very much—but you can’t seem to get started working on it.
It sounds contradictory, wanting something so much that you can’t get started working toward it, but it makes perfect sense.
Your goal is big and juicy and exciting. That also makes it scary af.
Being nervous or scared to get started toward your goal is super common, and it has to do with comfort zones and your inner critic (whom I actually call something else, as you will see).
You start to doubt that you have the skills or ability to accomplish your new goal. You wonder if it’s too big for you, or if you are somehow “not enough” to achieve it.
In fairness, you might not have all the skills or abilities that you need in order to reach your final destination, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn or acquire them along the way.
Your struggle to get started toward your goal is the result of you listening to self-doubt, or your ego, or your inner critic. Whatever you call it, it’s to blame here.
Let’s look at what this looks like in real life:
I will use a writing example this week: You have a goal of writing a particular manuscript.
You have declared that goal to the Universe, written it down in your notebook several times, and even shared that goal with some friends.
Yet somehow you find yourself doing everything except working on that manuscript.
You are cleaning your house, gardening, and Netflixing. You are busy decluttering, setting up your home office just so, shopping for the perfect t-shirt to wear as you work on that manuscript, or setting up a playlist for yourself.
You are doing tons of writing-adjacent things, such as reading, researching, making notes and sketches and outlines and timelines and more.
But you are not actually DOING THE THING.
One of the primary reasons is that you are listening to your inner asshole. I refuse to use the term “inner critic”, because that is too benign. If you’d prefer, you can think of it as your inner saboteur.
It’s your ego, and it is there to keep you safe.
And safe means never doing anything different ever, because that is risky, and therefore you must stay as small as possible, draw no attention to yourself, and keep quiet.
If you have the nerve to stick a toe outside of your very cozy, extremely small comfort zone, that voice will start hissing a pack of lies at you. It may start small, with negative whispers, but it will also flare to full-on tantrum if needed, and begin hurling all sorts of objections and (perceived) obstacles your way.
They include things labeled as imposter syndrome, such as “you can’t do that, you’re not smart/rich/pretty/clever enough, someone else has already done it or is probably doing it so there’s no point, etc.”
That voice speaks loudly and with considerable authority, whether it knows what it’s talking about or not.
Like I said, that voice is an asshole. It can sound concerned, as if it wants what’s best for you, or threatening, assuming the tone of angry parent, negative teacher, or childhood bully. Sometimes it will pretty much literally sound like the voice of one of your actual nemeses inside your head.
It snipes at you almost constantly. It tethers itself to your inner thoughts and colors your perception of your own skills, talents, and abilities.
It operates inside the dark recesses of your mind. It lurks in the shadows and tries to pull you down.
But it truly cannot stand up to the light.
You can haul that inner saboteur out of the shadows and shine a bright light on what it is saying.
That voice doesn’t really like having your full attention, because if you are paying complete attention, you can spot its defects, the holes and gaps in its story.
Because it truly is just a story that it’s telling you.
Once you give it the spotlight, it tends to shrink. What seemed so large in the shadows can be a rather insignificant thing that poses little actual threat. It’s the small cartoon mouse casting that large, menacing shadow.
It’s Sam Gamgee running through the Tower of Cirith Ungol, claiming to be a huge warrior instead of a small hobbit, causing orcs to flee (at least in the book).
When you tune into the garbage that your inner asshole/critic is offering up—really and truly pulling it into the light—you will see that most of it doesn’t amount to much. A lot of it doesn’t even make sense.
If you pull out the “but you’ve never been a writer” sorts of comments, you can usually see how that is not actually true. You have prior projects written. You got a good grade on a paper at least once. And you’ve been practicing and putting in the work, so you know you are only getting better.
You’ve been reading craft books, as well as reading lots of books or poems to hone your craft. Perhaps you’ve taken classes or attended workshops.
In the bright light of day, any assertion that you have no business doing this withers. Same goes for many other things that the inner critic throws your way.
But you have to take some time to identify that rubbish so you can move past it and get started on making your goals a reality.
You can minimize the size of your inner saboteur, navigate your way around the inner critic, and banish quite a bit of its assholery using the tips I’m going to share in next week’s post.
I can help you start moving toward that goal, instead of staying stuck.
If you are interested in working with me, I’ve got three 1:1 slots open right now to help coach you through that darkness, banish that asshole saboteur, and get started on a sunnier, more creative path. It’s a 6-week program called Aligned Alchemy, and I am offering these first three spaces at the introductory rate of $997.
Let’s banish that inner saboteur and clear a path for you to make progress toward your goal.
