Time keeps on ticking into the future
Whether it makes you want to fly like an eagle or not, time does keep on ticking ticking ticking . . .
It’s already the latter part of October. This blog post went live on October 19th.
November is around the corner, and with it comes
Diwali (with the main celebration on Thursday, November 4th),
Thanksgiving (on Thursday, November 25th) and
the start of Chanukah (the first night is Sunday, November 28th).
Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s Eve arrive toward the end of December and New Year’s Day, Three King’s Day, and the Orthodox Christmases (Russian, Eastern, and Greek) all arrive in January.
Today, I would like for you to take a break with me.
I’m sure you could use a break. An actual one, where you stop doing chores or favors or any of the things that feel like “have-to-dos”.
If I could show up and make you a cup of tea in person to insist on you taking a break, I’d do it. Instead, you’ll have to pretend that I’m there.
Just pretend that I showed up and as a result you had to stop what you’re doing, put the kettle on, and fix us both a cup of tea. Or coffee. Or hot chocolate. Whatever you most like that is warm and feels like a hug to you.
Got that beverage? Good!
Let’s sit down and have a little look at the calendar for the months of October and November. (Don’t worry if you don’t have a print calendar. You can print October and November here.)
What I invite you to do first is to write in any dates that are holidays or family celebrations/observations (such as birthdays, anniversaries, or yahrzeits).
If you’re in the US, you for sure want to know when Halloween and Thanksgiving are. Also, if you are person who thrives on the madness of Black Friday (11/26) or Cyber Monday (11/29), write them in as well. But know that with the supply chain disruptions this year, leaving things that late may mean you aren’t able to find what you want in stock, or might mean you can’t get it in time for the holidays.
Now, figure out what obligations you have for each of the dates you’ve written down.
Do you need to buy any birthday or anniversary cards or gifts? Write that down in a list on a separate piece of paper with a deadline to mail them. Please know that Postmaster Louis DeJoy has slowed down the mail—on purpose, to make folks upset—so that first class mail now takes up to 5 days and packages may take more than a week. So factor that in to your mailing date.
For October
Maybe you have to take kids trick-or-treating on Halloween or mischief night. Maybe you are hosting or going to a Halloween party, or heading out with friends or family to check out neighborhood displays.
Maybe you have to buy candy for trick-or-treaters. Maybe you need to get marigolds and candles for Día de los Muertos on November 1st.
On the back of your calendar page, write down what you need to do or get, and when you need it by.
For November
Diwali begins the first week of November, with the main day being November 4th. If you celebrate the holiday and need to get or make any diyas, write that down so you can be sure to have them by the start of the holiday. The same goes for any sweets, gifts, or decorations that you might want.
Chanukah begins on Sunday, November 28th at sundown. If you need candles for your Hanukkiah/menorah; chocolate gelt; applesauce, oil or potatoes for latkes; gifts; or anything else for the holiday, write down what it is you need to get, and when you need to get it by. Don’t forget to check to see if you have or need Chanukah gift wrap!
Thanksgiving
The holiday so universal here in the United States, that it gets its own section in this here blog post.
As noted earlier, it occurs on Thursday, November 25th this year.
If you are in charge of cooking for the holiday, write down all the dishes you intend to cook yourself, plus any that you are asking others to bring, plus any that you are purchasing (and, if you know, where from).
Before you do anything else: Assess that list, and whether it is realistic. Do you need all the things on your list? Is it far too much food for the number of people you will be cooking for?
The goal with this part of the exercise is to pause before springing into action to ask yourself whether you really want or need to make all the things on your list.
An example:
In the Thanksgiving of my dreams, here are the dishes on the table: turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole plus two other cooked vegetables (maybe carrots and Brussels sprouts), cranberry bread, homemade cranberry-orange relish, pumpkin pie, apple pie. (Total of 12 items, all homemade.)
In reality, last year was just Morris and me, and I expect it may be the same this year. A turkey breast, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, one vegetable, cranberry bread, cranberry relish or jelly of some sort, and a pumpkin pie (8 items, not necessarily home made) is MORE THAN ENOUGH FOOD BY A MILE.
My absolute minimum must-haves: cranberry bread (it’s a thing for me, and I use my great-grandmother’s recipe), mashed potatoes, stuffing, a vegetable and cranberry relish or jelly. (Yeah . . . turkey and gravy are optional in my world.) That is five things, instead of 8 or 12.
So ask yourself “Which dishes are a must-have?”
And then follow up with “Which of those must-haves do I have to make myself?”
Because it is possible that you can ask someone else to make it. Or you can purchase it.
For instance, if you don’t want to make homemade cranberry relish, buy a jar or can. If you serve dinner rolls, get them at the store (either already baked, or the frozen kind that you put in your oven). Consider whether you can pick up one or more of your desserts at a local bakery or farmer’s market.
You can order everything from a pie to an entire Thanksgiving dinner, already cooked and ready to heat and serve, at most supermarkets, as long as you plan in advance. Or you can pick up pieces of the meal that are heat and serve when you go shopping: there are pre-made mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and more at many deli or prepared-food counters.
Also, you can spread out your preparations if you know far enough in advance what your schedule looks like. That’s why I’m encouraging you to fill out your November calendar now, so that you can see whether all those sides and desserts fit into your schedule.
Finally, if you are buying and/or defrosting a frozen turkey or turkey breast, please MARK THAT DATE on your calendar so that you don’t end up with a still-frozen bird when it’s time to roast, grill, or deep fry your turkey!
Planning is only part of what we will be doing in All is Calm.
My new program, ALL IS CALM, is also about choosing how you want the holidays to feel this year, and about how YOU want to feel during the holidays. It’s about simplifying the things you can so that you can feel less stressed and more able to pay attention and participate.
It’s about daily acts of mindfulness, about nurturing and nourishing yourself so that you feel held and supported throughout the holiday season instead of lost at sea. It’s about finding what brings you joy, and letting go of the things that don’t. It’s a little bit about smashing the patriarchy and right-sizing your to-do list, and a lot about creating time and space for yourself so that the holidays feel the way you want them to feel—joyful, peaceful, thankful, homey, jolly . . . whatever your particular choice of vibe is.
ALL IS CALM is a four-week program. Each week on Sunday you will receive an email with the week’s theme, some thoughts and resources. Each Monday there will be a 45-minute Zoom session for some group coaching on the week’s theme. (If you can’t make it live, no worries—you will have access to the recording.) And every day, you can find a daily mindfulness prompt inside the pop-up Facebook group. Commenting will be closed a week after the end of your session, but the group will remain available for you to reference until January 10, 2022.
The investment for this special group-coaching program is only $97.
