Choose your own adventure
Today’s post takes its title from a once-popular series of children’s books, which came along too late for me and too early for my own kids. Here’s a fun article about the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books.
The thing about those books was that the reader was the main character. Every time the story came to a crossroads, the reader had to choose an option: this or that. You would skip to the prescribed page, and then read a bit more until you reached the next choice: this? or that? Eventually you would reach an ending—one of many possible endings in that particular story.
In some ways, it’s like life. We make all those decisions daily: this? or that? Sometimes we find comfort, sometimes we are surprised by the outcome. Always, always, we get to choose our own adventure.
Which adventure will you choose?
At a macro level, there’s the option of just drifting along as we’ve always done. Same job, same commute (or same lack thereof), same clothes, same meals, and so on.
I once heard Michelle Rohr, the founder of The Secret Owl Society, talk about how she decided to do something else after what she called her “day of disgust”, when she realized she had essentially lived the same year twice.
Not the same calendar year, of course: just the same actions and problems and issues two years running. You can listen to her discuss this on the She Means Business podcast (at around the 7 minute mark).
I think that if we are all honest, most of us have been there. Drifting along in a sea of sameness. Having some dreams and goals, but putting those off. Having some issues and problems, but treading water rather than starting to swim.
Last week, I shared that my word for the year 2021 is going to be STRETCH.
It’s not a comfortable word.
When we physically stretch, we can feel the strains and snags of it. It can leave us sore, and possibly with regrets. We notice our own limitations, our inflexibility and tension.
When we mentally stretch, it can be tiring—learning new things, or training our brain in new ways, is a bit of a challenge, after all. We have to work through fear of change and the discomfort of being a beginner again.
When we stretch outside our comfort zones, which is a large part of what I am challenging myself to do in 2021, it is, by definition, uncomfortable. It’s a step (or hop, or leap) into the unknown. It feels risky, because we worry we might fail.
Or that people might talk about us or laugh at us. And I know for a fact that it feels sucky when someone laughs at you. You can read this post from 2019 about the time a relative laughed in my face when I told her I was a life coach.
It is both frightening and exciting to try something new. The idea of expanding, of pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone to make it larger, is exciting in a terrifying sort of way.
Which got me thinking about Bruce Springsteen. He was once asked if he ever got stage fright. His answer was “no,” though he then described many of the symptoms: sweaty palms, nervous stomach, shortness of breath. However, he describes it as excitement.
Isn’t that amazing? Instead of choosing to see it as fear, he sees those same indicators as a sign of excitement. He takes a few deep breaths, then steps onto the stage. He claims his experience as excitement, instead of fear.
I am trying to remind myself that I get to choose to define how I feel: scared or excited. What if that stepping outside my comfort zone isn’t something to be afraid of, but something to be excited about?
I know it’s impossible to banish fear entirely, but I am going to try to live 2021 as an excited adventure. I don’t want to live 2020 all over again (pretty sure that goes for almost all the world). I want to live bigger. Which brings me to my mantra for 2021: “It’s okay to step outside your comfort zone.”
More speaking my own mind, less worrying about what others will think.
More taking a chance and seeing what happens, rather than talking myself out of it.
More jumping into the water, less tiptoeing nervously along the edge.
More saying yes to fun, less saying yes to things I don’t really want to do.
How about you? Are you ready for something different in 2021?
Will you settle for always getting what you’ve always got, or are you ready to try something new in the new year? It doesn’t have to be a massive shift or giant step—as you can see from the image I chose to illustrate jumping in, I chose one with a life vest, because it’s okay to take precautions and make sure you are safe.
That could mean creating an exit plan from something you currently do (your job, a volunteer gig, your kids’ laundry). It could mean choosing one new thing to begin (a new job skill, learning Spanish for that trip you want to take, figuring out how to make a latte at home).
I would love to know what it is you might want to change in 2021: Something you want to move away from, and/or something you want to move toward. Please leave me a comment and let me know! And if you’d like to schedule a free 30-minute discovery call to chat with me and start to figure it out, schedule a call here.
