What to do when everything feels hard
Hello, friend.
How are you doing? Really and truly: how are you?
If you’ve been around for a while, you know that optimism is in my DNA, but today, I am struggling.
I don’t know about you, but I am tired. Part of it is probably my health issues—I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Both of those conditions have been acting up, which means I have pain issues (ouch), but both the pain and the conditions themselves make me tired. In fact, they cause a sort of brain fog/fatigue that makes it hard for me to think clearly.
These flares occur every now and again, especially during swing seasons. Flares also occur when I feel stressed. And friends, I am stressed. Partly it’s due to being a bit of an empath—I pick up on other people’s stress, and mirror it—partly it’s due to the news these days, from the election issues to the pandemic. Living (as I do) in the greater Philadelphia area, it’s impossible to avoid nonstop campaign ads since Pennsylvania is in contention.
I know I am not alone. I hear it from my friends with children at home, who are dealing with remote learning or hybrid schooling. I hear it from my friends who work outside the home, and have had co-workers fall ill with COVID. I hear it from my friends who are now working from home, and who miss human contact and are zoomed out. I hear it from friends and family members who can’t see their children and grandchildren, who are upset that Thanksgiving won’t happen in-person for them this year, and so on. I hear it from my older daughter, who is in the food & bev industry in Charleston, SC, and is working three jobs right now just to pay her rent and other bills.
What is a person to do when everything feels hard?
Here is what you might be able to do. These are all things I’ve been doing, in case you find any of these things helpful to you and to your state of mind.
Vote. Morris and I dropped our ballots off a couple weeks ago. I know this sounds like a weird thing to start with, but here’s what it means to me: I have fulfilled by civic duty. I have cast votes on candidates and issues that represent my views and make my voice heard. And that is important.
Take care of yourself the way you would take care of a person you love who needs extra care. I am leaning hard into self-care this week. What that looks like for me these days may be different than what it looks like for you, but here is how I am approaching it right now: The nurturing, mothering part of me is taking care of the rest of me, basically. I am making sure that I eat healthy meals and snacks (which includes comfort food, let’s be real here), that I move my body every day in ways that won’t cause injury/pain, that I feel comfortable in my clothes, take Epsom salt baths to help clear my energy field and reduce aches and pains, and rest whenever I need to.
Reduce consumption of news and social media. It helps prevent endless doom-scrolling. I don’t know about you, but I consume enough news to know what’s going on, without belaboring it. I’ve reduced my time on social media this week, so that I spend a little online time with friends and family, but not enough to fall down rabbit holes. No sense reading ALL the things in order to maximize how upset I am.
Preserve and bolster mental health as much as possible. For me, this includes me doing the things I’ve listed above, as well as strategies and tactics contained in my two e-books: Lower Your Anxiety and 12 Tips to Help You Sleep. It includes meditation, deep breathing, mindfulness, getting outside each day (if possible), gratitude practice, and more. It can be as simple as noticing negative thinking when it creeps in, then replacing negative thoughts with higher-value thinking. For example, instead of “I can’t believe you forgot X”, I replace it with something like “I’m doing my best today” or simply “I am enough.”
When I feel overwhelmed or indecisive, I check in with myself and ask myself “what one small step can I take right now to move in the right direction?” or “what would feel good/like love right now?” Sometimes that is choosing another thought, sometimes it’s taking a nap, or eating an apple cider donut, or whatever.
I hope some of these thoughts help you. And that you, like me, can feel surrounded by protection just like this lady in the Allstate ad.
And you know it’s gonna be a lovely day . . .
