Sometimes the right path is not the easiest path

I’ve been on several walks in a nearby park lately that includes paths and trails through the woods. It usually puts me in mind of Robert Frost’s poetry. A bent tree might remind me of the poem “Birches”, and its line “So was I once a swinger of birches.” A cross-roads or fork in the path reminds me of “The Road Not Taken,” which I can mostly recite from memory.

Probably you are familiar with the second poem, which ends “Two roads diverged in the wood, and I—/I took the one less traveled by/And that has made all the difference.”

It’s often taught as an inspirational or motivational poem, though Frost (curmudgeon that he was) meant it as a sarcastic commentary on he and a friend taking separate paths and ending up in the same place. (*The More You Know!)

The thing is, the harder path can take a lot of forms. It could be the one with the steeper grade to it—when walking, it might mean a hill or mountain, when doing something new, it might mean a steeper learning curve, or a faster pace.

But the “harder” path can also just be the one less-traveled by. The one that we don’t always (or often, or maybe ever) take.

It being less known, or unknown, makes it harder because new things are scary.

It doesn’t matter what it is. As a toddler, walking unassisted was scary. Learning to use the potty was scary. All those things that were firsts and that took practice and development of knowledge and skill? Scary as fuck.

In school, making new friends was scary. Meeting new teachers or changing schools was scary. Having to learn subjects we didn’t yet know, and find out how to do lots of things we’d never done before (from art class to square dancing in gym class to operating a Bunsen burner).

At work, there is learning our own job, plus navigating the workplace and our boss(es) and coworkers.

In my life, I moved 14 times between birth and age 12. Changed schools 8 times by the time I graduated high school. Went to college and, later, law school. Worked in retail management, and then in inventory control for a steel company, and later as a commercial litigator.

I sang in a rock band, performed solos at weddings, and even sang in a professional choir. I got married three times, and divorced twice. (Third time’s a charm!) I am a mother, a poet, a writer, an artist, a musician, and more.

All along the way, I’ve had periods where I coasted along on the easy path—like the time in my second marriage when I knew it wasn’t working, but didn’t want to ask for a divorce because I was worried about having a second failed marriage on my “permanent record.”

Yeah . . . staying in a bad marriage because you worry people will judge you if you get out? NOT WORTH IT. But it took me a while to work up the nerve to take that “harder” path—which, it turns out, made my entire life far, far better and easier.

I’m not going to get hyper here and start yelling that you need to TAKE THE HARDEST PATH and DO IT NOW and FEEL THE BURN, because frankly, I have no patience for that sort of stuff.

But.

I will stay that if you have been coasting along in your comfy zone for a while now, and you aren’t seeing the sort of growth or expansion in your life that you’d like to have, it might be time to get off the easiest path, and choose one that is a bit harder. Maybe it’s the one less-traveled by. Maybe it’s the one you meant to take before, but you zigged instead of zagged. Maybe it’s the one that feels more fun, or more challenging.

Because sometimes the right path is not the easiest path.

If you want some help figuring out how to get over yourself and the thoughts that are keeping you stuck where you are, you are in luck: that’s just the sort of thing I do as a life coach! Consider signing up for GET STARTED NOW, my workshop this Thursday, August 25th at 1 pm EDT via Zoom that is there to help you get moving on your own goals and dreams, and to help you ditch the perfectionism and imposter syndrome that’s been keeping you stuck. You know the thoughts: “I’m not good/strong enough to do it. I don’t know enough. That sort of thing is for other people, and I need to be thinner/younger/older/more knowledgeable to even consider it.”

GET STARTED NOW is a pay-what-you-want workshop, so cost shouldn’t be a barrier. AND if you can’t make it to the live session, you still get the resources and a recording.