She decided to choose joy.

She decided to choose joy.

I have not set any actual resolutions for 2023. At least, not yet.

Maybe I will do it later in the year, when the energy of the season feels right? Or maybe I won’t bother.

What I HAVE chosen is my theme for the year, which happens to be “FUN.”

For me, choosing “fun” as my theme word for the year is a reminder to find my own joy. To turn toward things I enjoy, things that light me up and delight me. To lean into things that bring me satisfaction and happiness. To not allow myself to get bogged down by things that feel heavy or ponderous.

Less “should.” More “want to.”

On an energetic level, if I follow my joy, I’ll be in a higher vibrational state, which just makes everything flow better and more easily. On a practical level, if I am following my inner guidance system and intuition, I am more likely to be acting in alignment with myself and my values—a big improvement from doing what someone else who writes a generic book about business tells me I “should” be doing. That goes for accepting advice from others who don’t run business that are aligned with natural and personal energy.

It also goes with me looking for more ways to bring fun and joy into my life on a daily basis. More LEGO. More jigsaw puzzles. More spontaneous dance parties. More meditation and time in nature. More reading.

One category of books I’m choosing more of is romance novels.

I got started reading romance novels as a teen, when my Aunt Janet would loan me some of her carefully tended Barbara Cartland paperbacks, or my Aunt Amy would pass along shopping bags full of Harlequin and other romances. I read them all, though I’m not sure all of them were what anyone would deem “age appropriate”, and developed a lifelong love of the genre.

Somewhere along the line in my 20s, I took a break from reading romance. I think I was taught to be embarrassed of it? Anyhow, that persisted through my thirties, pretty much.

When I hit my mid-40s, however, I reclaimed my love of romance reading, and I’ve been a dedicated fan since then. Give me all your Lisa Kleypas and Sarah MacLean books, your Eloisa James and Julia Quinn. And yes, those are all in the historical romance sub-genre.

But lately, I’ve enjoyed more modern reads. Gwenda Bond, Erin Sterling, Ali Hazelwood, Tessa Bailey, and, most recently, Olivia Dade, who features plus-sized heroines in her books.

Kelly, you may be asking, what does this have to do with choosing joy?

Well, for one, I am choosing to read more romance because it brings me joy. It makes me happy. There is comfort in knowing that the author will keep the contract they make with the reader at the outset, and that the two main characters will end up together in a happy-ever-after manner, no matter what they go through on the way to that ending.

It turns out that reading romance (and re-reading other favorite books) is good for my nervous system, and doesn’t cause me nearly the same amount of tension as reading other fiction does. Although even knowing that all will be right in the end, some romances get a bit too fraught for me and my anxiety levels on occasion. But I digress.

But the other reason I’m mentioning romance novels, and that I name-checked Olivia Dade, is that I keep finding wonderful quotes in her books. Take, for instance, this bit from Spoiler Alert, in which a (fictional) author writes an email to an actor who played a role in a TV show based on that author’s books (a la Game of Thrones):

If you ever decide to write your own scripts, a bit of advice to keep in mind: As we’re both aware—all too aware—some scriptwriters believe death and misery and stagnation are more clever, more meaningful, and more authentic to reality than love and happiness and change. But life isn’t all misery, and finding a path through hard, hard lives to joy is tough, clever, meaningful work. [Emphasis mine.]

I really agree with that quote. So for 2023, I’m choosing love and happiness and change.

Here’s to “finding a path through hard, hard lives to joy.”

I’d love to know if this resonates for you. And whether you read romance novels, or something else! Drop a comment below and let me know!