How to manifest the vibe you want at a gathering
When you don’t have control over others, why bother trying to create a particular mood at your event?
The question.
During yesterday’s free holiday planning/coaching session, we talked about our visions for the holiday, and what we could do to bring it into being. The question asked was something like “I have a vision for this gathering where everyone is relaxed and happy and conversation is easy, but I can’t figure out how I can make that happen, since how people feel is out of my control.”
The question makes sense, right? You can set the table and get people to show up, but that doesn’t mean that they will be happy when they arrive. Ask anyone with a sulky teenager, or a kid (or spouse) who is acting out.
When you don’t have the ability to control other people, and—more specifically—other people’s moods, is there any point in visualizing how you want the event to go? Should you bother to envision how you’d like folks to feel, and to interact?
Sure, you can set the table and make the food, but can you create the vibe you want?
The answer.
While you can’t control what’s going on with other people, you can actually alter their moods and create the vibe you want at your gathering.
The “vibe” of your event or gathering is largely up to you, and to your intention.
Whether you intend to have a light-hearted, party atmosphere or a cozy, relaxed get-together this Thanksgiving, start by visualizing the event. In your mind, go to the point where everyone has arrived and envision what you want to see: what does the table and room look like? What food and drinks are you serving? Is there music playing? How are people interacting?
As you move through each step of planning and preparing for the event, hold that feeling state in mind.
One way to do this: Create a playlist for yourself that makes you feel the way you’d like to feel at your event. Want to be the center of an event that is light and bright and sparkling? Create a party track! Want to be create a cozy space where everyone is relaxed and chatty? Maybe create a quieter playlist that brings you those feelings.
Then play that playlist when you sit down to figure out the meal, as you shop for the things you need, while you are getting the house ready, and prior to your guests arriving. It will help you to focus on and hold your intention in mind, which helps to create the energy in your space.
Think of how much happier or more relaxed you would feel if, instead of turning into a human stress ball writing a to-do list or shopping list on the back of an envelope in a grumpy crush, you instead sat down with a favorite beverage, a favorite pen and some paper, lit a candle, played your tunes, and held your intention for the event in mind.
You would not only be affecting your own, personal energy, but also the energy in the space. Just as you can sense the tension in a room where there was a recent argument, you can sense the relaxed happiness in a room where things are going well.
If you are wound tight and stressed out as you plan and prepare for the event, it’s more likely that folks in attendance will sense that and react accordingly, by being more tense and on guard. If you are calmer and/or happier, they will also sense and react to that.
Some of this is the inverse of the phrase “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”: because if mama (in this case, YOU) is happy, then others are likely to be happy as well.
Another good idea
Clear the energy in your space before guests arrive.
Clearing the energy in a room or your entire house is simple to do, and doesn't require any expensive items or equipment. (Anyone who says otherwise is literally selling you something. That said, there are some wonderful things like incense, essential oils, room sprays, even gemstones or bells/chimes, that can be useful.)
Clearing the energy in your space allows the energy to flow properly, and gets rid of any heavy or stale energy that may have built up. That would include any past arguments or disagreements, any feelings of stress, and more.
You can download my free Energy Clearing Guide here, or by using the button below.
Check back for some more tips to help make your holiday planning easier.
And let me know if you want in on the next free holiday planning session, which is taking place via Zoom on Wednesday, November 15th at noon EST. If you want to join (or just want the recording), tell me, so that I can get you the link!
