Lessons from a Gen-X witch
This week, I was on vacation. My spouse and I were on a cruise in the Caribbean that began on February 28th, visiting expat family in Cozumel, as well as stopping in Costa Maya and Belize. My close friend from college was also on the cruise with us—something we have been planning since last August.
Last Thursday, I wrote and scheduled an email to go to all my subscribers at 5 am on Saturday, since it was an auspicious time (astrologically). What I didn’t know was that the idiot-in-chief was going to start WWIII while I slept. I woke up feeing like a smacked ass for seeming to market my upcoming equinox event, “Becoming.”
I guess that will teach me to pre-schedule posts and emails. (N.B.- It will not.)
Kelly in Dean Village, Edinburgh, Scotland. Photo © Natalie Whelan.
Life has rapidly become surreal.
For those of us who aren’t in Western Asia or Northern Africa (the decolonized terms for the location of places such as Iran, Kuwait, Bahrain, Israel and more), or who do not currently have family members in the armed forces, “normal” life goes on.
Only things such as death, tolls, higher gas prices, and frightening news reports (largely from other countries, since the US main-stream media isn’t really covering this all that well) make the new US attacks feel “real.”
If you, like me, are Gen X or even a Millenial (I see you 9/11 kids), this is all still enough to uncap the anxiousness and fear that always comes with military action. If this has triggered some version of PTSD (whether you have a diagnosis or not) for you, then you are not alone. But you’ve also been here before, and made it through—a thought that gives me comfort.
On our cruise ship, some old men sat around rattling their canes and talking about how good it is that the administration rushed blindly into this, and how our military is being led by a man who won’t hear of restraint. (I think they meant Hegseth, but who knows for sure.) To them, everything is just fine, and they are celebrating the fact that we attacked a country for no real reason and seemingly have no clear goals or game plan.
The absence of a clear objective or any actual justification for these attacks doesn’t bother these old white men at all. It should—of course it should—but they all seem convinced this is the second coming of the great white American patriarchy.
I believe that they are wrong. What we are now seeing is not a resurgence of what we used to have (the “good old days” when men were men, while women and children were property). What I believe is happening now is the final chapter of that past: the death throes of an outdated societal structure.
It was always going to end with a bang, not a whimper (to co-opt T.S. Eliot’s words in “The Hollow Men”). What is happening will not end the world, but it may end the world order we all grew up with.
As a feminist, Gen-X witch, I say let it end.
My entire life has existed in the presence of war. Vietnam was already a hot spot when I was born. The Gulf of Tonkin event took place when I was 4 months old. The horrifying images from that war played out on TV every night. Nobody thought to turn it off or cover our eyes. Somehow, it sounded like all sides of that war were in the wrong. The way people spoke about it then, those who served were wrong or evil for taking part in the war, and those who protested were “hippies”, and wrong for protesting (or dodging the draft).
Every president in my lifetime committed our troops to some conflict or another.
Sometimes they were justified; often they were not.
I remember high school classmates worrying that Congress might institute the draft during the Iran/Contra scandal. When I was an attorney, I worked with a guy who had been Army intelligence, who told stories of questionable interrogations he conducted when Noriega was holed up in Panama.
I remember the cloudless blue sky on a Tuesday morning in September of 2001, as the radio started to report on planes striking the Twin Towers. None of us got a damn thing done at work that day. And I am still angry with my first ex-husband for turning the TV on that night (Tuesdays were “his” night to have custody), traumatizing my 6 and 8 year-olds for life.
I remember both of the Gulf Wars (and the war in Afghanistan) started by the George Bushes when they were president—with Iraq and Afghanistan lasting well into Barack Obama’s presidency.
There has always been war or imminent threat of war. There have always been old white men shaking their canes, talking Big Talk™️ that they cannot back up. They haven’t all been as reckless as the current admin, but they have all been willing to gamble other people’s lives for whatever gain they see for themselves.
Those of us in Gen-X are used to it being “the end of the world as we know it” (to quote R.E.M.)
I’m here to say that as long as you are doing what you can, where you can, to protest things being done in your name, it’s okay if you “feel fine.”
I will say it again: it is okay if you “feel fine.”
Not to sound too conspiratorial, but the more you are able to function like “normal”, without spinning into fear or anxiety, the better. Why did I use the word “conspiratorial?” Because I truly believe that the rich white male patriarchy wants us all to spiral ourselves into tiny, ineffective little balls in order to allow them to proceed at will.
People—especially women, gays, and theys—who keep our heads up and keep defying the old white men in power are actually among their worst nightmares. (Well, that and them being held liable for various crimes, from financial stuff to pedophilia).
If you can stabilize your nervous system, you can operate from a stable, grounded place.
A stable nervous system allows you to take care of yourself and the people who matter to you. It allows you to assist causes you believe in, and to contribute to assistance of people you don’t know (through phone calls to representatives, volunteering, protest, and/or donations).
It allows you to remain yourself, in all the ways that matter, and to keep going at a time when the old white men in power would like you to just stop. They want what they have always wanted: an easy life, lots of power, and no pushback.
It has been true for decades. When I was a teenager during Reagan’s presidency, the spokeswomen holding up the patriarchy were Phyllis Schlafly, who told women to go back to their kitchens and stay there, and Anita Bryant, who spouted hateful language about homosexuality. The wealthy white men (with an occasional woman or non-white man who are willing to support the white patriarchy) have always wanted more wealth for themselves—again, an easy life, lots of power, no pushback. It’s why they dislike unions, feminists, civil rights for all, equal opportunities, etc.
They stacked the deck against us, and they like it stacked.
To keep it that way, to make sure its not us against them, they create ways to make it us against us.
Lately it’s been immigrants and trans people who they’ve been using to form a wedge, and to flex their power so we know what they are capable of. And of course they also enjoy forays into racism and anti-semitism, which relies on idea of “the other” to create fear that they use to justify their actions, and incite further differences among those who are not super wealthy.
Is it upsetting? Maddening? Unfair?
Yes, of course.
But they are creating the outrage so that we are too worn down and tired to notice exactly what is going on. Or, if we do notice, we are frozen in fear or too weak to push for change.
To repurpose a 1960s slogan from Timothy Leary: turn on, tune in, drop out. Keep informed of what’s going on, make sure you are patched into the communities that are important to you, but drop on out of the patriarchy.
Figure out instead what you would like the world to look like, and start doing small things that fit in with that world.
If you want to bring about a matriarchy (I know I do—a matriarchy would mean adults in a circle protecting children and other vulnerable people), figure out where you can start behaving like someone living in a matriarchy right now—today.
Maybe it means going to a school board meeting to make sure kids are allowed to exercise their first amendment rights (by engaging in protest or reading books) or getting rid of payments for school lunches, or providing free menstrual products to students who need them. Or maybe it means contributing food or money to organizations that make sure kids are fed, whether in your town or state, or in other countries.
Maybe it means supporting a candidate who is running to make the kind of change you want to see in the world, or donating to legal support for protesters in Minnesota (still under assault), or for folks just trying to ensure that our civil rights apply to everyone, not just to some.
Some simple witchcraft
This is for those of you who already engage in spell work at home, who would like to start, or who are curious just what that entails.
Spell work can mean honoring your ancestors, perhaps by having an ancestral altar (which can be as simple as a place where you keep photos of your ancestors or other loved ones who have passed). Some people also add images of saints, goddesses, or people they strongly admire. I know people who have images or statues of Ganesha or Kali or St. Francis or Mary (or Mary Magdalene) in their spaces, as well as people who have photos of celebrities or other public figures whom they admire.
Spell work can mean setting protective wards for your home and property, to keep bad energy away. In my case, I use a mix of feng shui cures (such as wind chimes on my front porch to diffuse “sharp” energy from the street) and spell work: including spreading ground eggshells outside as a barrier to bad energy, envisioning a protective bubble around our property to repel negative energy, and doing energy clearings or cleansing fairly regularly.
Spell work can also mean money workings, or other, more involved, workings. A money working might be something simple, like blowing cinnamon into the house through the front door on the first of the month (or at another auspicious date), or creating a “money bowl” to interact with money and attract more of it. Spell work can also be something like creating a simmer pot, which includes fruits, spices, and herbs that correspond with your intention, or stirring your intention into your morning cup of coffee or tea by whispering or thinking about my intention as I stir clockwise or deosil (the direction for calling something in).
To get started with the matriarchy here and now, consider trying some of the things I just described, if they call to you. The point is to do the sorts of spells you would do if we already lived in a matriarchy.
Those might include: thanking your maternal ancestors or seeking guidance from your healed and helpful female ancestors; seeking protection for your people and for vulnerable people in your community; and working to banish things or organizations that harm our people and community.
Seeking protection for vulnerable people can include (a) asking your spirit guides to protect them, (b) calling on one or more angels or saints or goddesses (if you work with them) to protect them, (c) contacting local and national representatives about it, (d) donating to causes that support the people you are worried about, and/or (e) volunteering or otherwise supporting organizations that are already doing the work to support vulnerable populations (whether that’s native people or people of color, people in the LGBTQIA community, children, women, or another population).
One thing I have taken to doing is silently blessing and protecting people I believe might be at risk when I see them in the store or elsewhere. Just today, I saw a young woman and her mother from somewhere in Central America in our grocery store. They were speaking in Spanish as they shopped together. I silently asked spirit to bless them, and envisions a protective bubble around them. I have done the same when I run into members of the LGBTQIA population, whether they are an established middle-aged married couple or a teen or other young person who is working things out. Life is hard; sending someone a silent blessing and envisioning them being protected certainly cannot hurt—and I believe it can help.
As a practical witch, I also like my two-for-one ice machine practice, which is another type of spell work designed to banish a harmful organization and protect immigrants to the U.S. from harm.
I shared this one during my Imbolc circle, and have since heard back from more than one person who was there how much they enjoy it, and how it does help them to feel better. (Also, Dan Bongino was fired from his position after I started doing it, so while I can’t claim full responsibility for that, I like to think that the intention to disband his entire organization and banish it helped).
To do this particular ice practice, I scoop several scoops of ice from the ice-maker in my freezer into the kitchen sink . Often, I manage to pick up some that have stuck together, and then I forcefully smash them into the sink. Either way, the ice cubes are added to the sink with the intention of banishing the ICE organization. Sometimes I add hot pepper flakes and/or salt to speed the demise of the ice cubes along, or make it “more painful” for the cubes in the sink. Always I hold the intention of banishing ICE—including any time that I add water to the sink, which I direct counterclockwise (the direction of banishment) using the sink’s hose attachment in order to banish the ice cubes and speed the process along. This particular spell work practice is a two-for-one thing because the directions for my refrigerator say to empty the ice maker weekly in order to keep it functioning well. Win-win.
One of the women who was at the Imbolc circle took to kicking small chunks of ice on her daily outside walks (when there was snow still on the ground), setting her intention, then smashing those chunks into bits.
The point is to do those seemingly small actions with intention, thereby making room for some magic in your life. It leaves you feeling more energetized and less downtrodden, and that is a magic all its own.
If you have questions, I invite you to get in touch and let me know. And of course, you are invited to join me for the upcoming Vernal Equinox.
On the equinox, we move from the depth, darkness, and dreaminess of Pisces to active, headstrong Aries.
If Pisces is the culmination of all the lessons of a year, then Aries is the new beginning, full of child-like enthusiasm and determination. Rather like the Fool card in a tarot deck, Aries is ready to start something new. What will you release that has been holding you back? With spring urging you into motion, what will you become?